so often I just feel so tired and unmotivated to do anything
i’m so worried all the time
my stomach constantly churns with anxiety
i don’t have any friends
my family is never ever there
i feel like i’m constantly floating
trying to care doesn’t help
it only makes me notice things more
i can’t look people in the face
for longer than the 3 seconds it takes to say hello.
10:48 pm 3 notes
— Charles Bukowski, What Matters Most is How Well You Walk Through the Fire. (via theburnthatkeepseverything)
11:56 am 2,700 notes
11:48 am 5 notes
Bringing out my inner korean today, mastering the art of “v shape” selfies.
I have never wanted to be a male more than now. I feel so utterly disparate to people around me. I don’t feel like I identify mainly with females, nor do I feel that I should with males. I’m not saying at all that there is a stabilized gender binary that makes it impossible for me to have characteristics of either. But most of the time I’m feeling completely left out of either male or female companionship. So many of my friends are males because of ROTC, but so often I feel a wall between us that makes it impossible for us to ever just become friends. Also so often I get treated as if I’m stupid. I’m not talked to like any other guy. I’m talked to more like a child being explained what is right and wrong. I’m just so sick of it.
11:21 pm 1 note
3:14 pm 2 notes
I have stolen my roommates dog… He makes me want to finally get a dog of my own. I watched my mother’s dogs for two weeks and it made me so happy and fulfilled feeling, and now that they’re gone I feel so empty. My mother would never let me take my maltipoo to live with me; she would hate to separate the dogs. My homebody lifestyle calls for a furry companion! Anybody want to get me a puppy? I’m lonely. :c
10:59 pm 149,561 notes
1:54 pm 4 notes
Today marks honoring those who have served and those who are currently serving. With that, I’d like to add that today also marks my 2 year anniversary of being in a relationship with this beautiful guy. We’ve had a really rocky past couple of months, but he’s gone beyond what most guys would do in order to show how much he loves me. He makes stupid mistakes, we sometimes don’t agree on things, we have much different tastes (because mine are better), and we are on completely opposite sides of the country. But I know that despite all of this, he still makes me laugh more than most people can, and he listens, and he tries to understand, and he supports anything I want to do. He is loyal, sweet, caring, and understanding. He’s everything you could every need or want from a life partner. I love him.
I’m not very picky about many things, except movies and music. I am picky about those. I have my own acquired taste, and I feel like I have a solid enough foundation to be able to properly critique things (and I have a wide range of tastes).
I do not understand people who don’t see the difference between something that is campy and something that is obnoxious. I can usually tell based on finding out a few of their likes/ dislikes or views on matters of music and movies if I would get along with them. I don’t believe this is prejudice; I find that I am good at discerning.
11:27 pm 1 note
Halloween was pretty weird. Here are some pictures I took last week of my costume inspired by Pulp Fiction and my new pair of creepers to satisfy my materalistic desires.
1. Taking philosophy of film is the best decision I made in school this semester (and we don’t even watch movies in that class, ever).
2. In my naval engineering class all I think about is different ways I’m going to make ramen when I get home and not, you know, hydraulics and shit.
10:15 pm 1 note